My Anti-Resolution Word of the Year

I’m done with New Year’s Resolutions. While the new year is a great time to be inspired by change and rebirth, resolutions can be a source of unnecessary stress. What? By when? How? Etc. The older I get and the more I study and teach self-development, the more I realize that this is a long game. A constant practice (one of my favorite phrases, I suppose).

We hold the best intentions each January, but the recidivism rate for resolutions is somewhere upwards of 90%. We could talk about why, which has every thing to do with how we approach habits and mindset around change. Instead, I’m going to choose a “theme word” for the year. While my underlying theme word in 2020 (and probably 2019) seemed to be “Transition“, my theme word for 2021 is going to be:

Align

I’ve been talking the talk for years now about intentionally living by your core values, and how the best way to figure out what those values are is to embark on a self-knowledge journey. But identification is just the beginning; you then have to integrate them into your life! Truly, if your actions are aligned with your values, it should be fairly straightforward to identify and work towards any goal.

Align works in the positive and in the negative sense. When’s the last time you said No to something, even something potentially advantageous to you, because it didn’t align with your values? In this episode of The Jordan Harbinger Show, Seth Godin discussed two such examples that really resonated with me: that of Michelle Phan and Joni Mitchell.

Doing What You Love Most

Being that I love experimenting with makeup, skincare/aesthetics and the like, I knew of Michelle Phan’s Youtube channel in its early days. Her makeup tutorials became international sensations. She made millions on Youtube – something video creators and inspiring influencers can only dream about. At one point, she was even approached to start her own makeup line. As she became more and more popular, I remember her videos changing a bit; she started experimenting with lifestyle themes and Anime-esque illustrations. You could tell that she was bored. One day, she just stopped making videos. For several years.

Her video Why I Left currently has 13 million views. Burned out and feeling lost, she stepped back from Youtube fame and took a sabbatical. She realized she needed to redefine success. Her channel still exists with 9 million subscribers, but she now posts what and when she likes, and she focuses more on creating products for her small, cult-following makeup brand.

Walking Away From Immense Fame

Being raised in a very musical household as a child of the 70’s, I knew many Joni Mitchell hits by heart: I can still sing along with every song on the album Blue. But at the same time, I know nothing of Don Juan’s Reckless Daughter. And that is by design.

At the height of her fame, both record labels and fans wanted to pigeohole her into a specific style, encouraging her to pump out more of the same. But she’s an artist. She longed to explore creative frontiers and experiment with jazz themes. They told her it was career suicide. She didn’t care, and she continues to make only the music she wants to make.

Both these ladies eschewed the path that would clearly lead to more money, accolades, and traditional success, so they could stay aligned with their own personal interests. They decided to do what they valued.

Making Life Decisions

Align is already informing my recent decisions and future plans. Last year, I left the Perfect Job and a home in the Perfect Neighborhood of the Perfect Mountain City. I got questions:

“Why would you want to live in Vegas?”

Because simple, low-maintenance condo living in a western city with warm winters and a major international airport frees me to choose many different work and play opportunities. Going from owning three homes to one in the past five years is freeing. It allows us to travel more (when possible) and easily search for another adventure we’re considering: buying an off-grid rural property.

“Why would you leave a 2 day a week job with no call?”

Because I’ve developed more of a passion for helping other professionals find their ideal practice of balance, and I want to grow my coaching and speaking services. Because I want more flexibility in when I do my clinical work, and I desire more notice of my shift schedule than that job could give. No job is perfect in every way at every time for every person, and it didn’t align anymore with my values of freedom and goals.

“And what happened to rock climbing?“

I will always love climbing; it shaped so many aspects of my life… even my decision to pursue a medical degree. But for now, we’ve stepped away from climbing at that same high level of commitment and intensity. Before having a child, climbing consumed our free time, informed all our travel decisions, and formed the foundation for most of our friendships. But my interests have shifted and so have my climbing (and life) partner’s… and I welcome the change.

It’s tough to walk away from something you were once “really good at”, but when it doesn’t feel like the right thing to have consume your time anymore, you have to let go of that part of your ego. I love the feeling of being a beginner and learning new things (another core value), so I like to have a balance of novelty with mastery in my life.

If we get back into serious climbing someday, It’ll kind of be like being a beginner again! I do miss the community and connection with the outdoors, but I’m confident I’ll find those things elsewhere in the near future.

I really have a feeling that Align is going to show up for me in even more ways this year. I’m all for making changes and adopting better habits, but with a theme word like Align, who needs resolutions?

Your turn: can you choose a theme word for 2021? Share it in the comments below!