How to Get Out of “What’s Next?” Mode

(Featured image courtesy Jim Lowman)

(Note: If you’d rather listen to this post in podcast form, scroll to the bottom of the page.)

Do you remember those Superbowl/Olympics/NBA Finals/etc. commercials where an interviewer off-camera would ask the winner, “What are you going to do next?” Maybe they still do these commercials, but I rarely watch TV or sports events nowadays.

“You just won X! What are you going to do next?“

“I’m going to Disneyland!”

In our lean-in, hustle culture that trains us to view success with a very narrow definition, we’re conditioned to always be thinking about what’s coming next. Hit a milestone, finish a training program, achieve a pinnacle, land that big job, get that important grant or client … now what?

In the world of rock climbing, there are two types of people. I’m particularly referring to sport climbing, a sub-style of climbing that involves shorter, move athletic routes and dynamic moves. Climbers often choose a “project” route. I’ve talked about this in both my book Lean Out, and the Lean Out Confidence Course. The project is the challenging climbing route you’re going to work on for a while. If you can “send” it really fast, it’s not really much of a project (sending is what they say when you climb the route cleanly with no falls or mistakes).

Thus, a project is something you chip away at move by move, refining the sequence through many rehearsals, even just mini-rehearsals of small sections of the climb. When you finally do send the route – which often happens when you’ve done many refinements on previous days and then rested for one or two days, and on the first or second try on a fresh day you get it… then what? The day is young; what are you going to do?

Here’s the question again: What’s next?

It’s funny because my husband would send a project, sit down and take off his tight rock shoes and his gear, and then immediately start looking at the guidebook for his next project. Something harder. He’d pour over the book and choose a new route and start working on it on the spot! I was always baffled by this, because when I would send a project, I’d be like, “Ok I’m done for the day, time to go relax and eat something yummy and socialize and bask in the goodness of success.”

I’m not alone. Many people would bring “send beers” for their moment of climbing success, but also my husband isn’t alone either because many people do what he does.

These two behaviors show that there’s a wide range of ways people react to challenge and respond to success. But one thing I want to point out through these examples:

There is a difference between creating an atmosphere of growth and living a life of checking off boxes.

I’ve had numerous coaching clients and prospective clients who are mired in the idea of “What’s next?” They’ve been box-checking for far too long. They have a general lack of fulfillment due to a few different reasons.

First, they aren’t self-aware because they’ve been conditioned for years in medical school and training to put themselves last. They don’t even know who they are anymore. This leads to the second reason, which is they have an expectation hangover due to years of delayed gratification. How many years did we have to subjugate our own needs for the sake of patients, more senior trainees, and attendees? All with the thought that one day, it’ll all be over and then everything will be magically awesome. You’ll have this great doctor job with an excellent salary and all this autonomy… and often the reality is different. They’ll say, is this all there is?

The third reason they are stuck on the “what’s next” idea is that they are still living in that resident mode. They’re worried about the next hoop they’ll have to jump through, because they jumped through so many for so long. And also what people will think of them. Newsflash if you’re out of training: none of this matters anymore! But again, we’ve been conditioned.

Being stuck in the “what’s next” mentality leads to a lack of fulfillment, and further possibily wanting to leave medicine but then feeling stuck again because you have debts or responsibilities to others. This leads burnout, and eventually your mental and physical health suffers.

So what’s the antidote to the problem of fixating on what’s next? Here are three things that can help.

1. Focus on rest and celebration. If you’ve just made a big accomplishment, it’s ok to chill out for a little while. You don’t have to start working on the next big thing. This goes for fitness and also for entrepreneurship, research, innovation, or leadership roles. Resting is not lazy or selfish. Resting is essential, and resting with an air of gratitude is even better.
2. Adopt a journey mindset. This thing is that you accomplished is but a blip on the large roadmap of your life. We all go through cyclical journeys of busy times, or high achievement, then maybe a period of cruising, and then some struggle. Accept that you are where you are supposed to be right now.
3. Remember presence. Presence is actually my word for 2025. The present moment is all we have. “The future is just a thought” (one of my favorite Eckhart Tolle quotes that I often return to when feeling anxious or overwhelmed).

To practice presence, get in touch with your sensations. How is your body feeling? What sensations do you notice? Can you learn how to notice them more – maybe by doing a short, regular practice of focusing on one of your senses each day. Like a few minutes of rubbing your palms together, savoring your morning coffee and its steam and aroma, or intently looking at a favorite painting. These are everyday tasks that can turn into mindfulness practices without even really trying very hard; I love having clients learn mindfulness this way.

What is going on in your mind? Do you need to do a thought dump type of journal entry and get all that out of there onto paper so you can see how past and future-focused your thoughts are? You can do one of these any time you’re feeling overwhelmed by future possibilities or choices. How about writing down three things you’re grateful for in the present moment while you’re at it?

I hope these thoughts on getting out of the “What’s next?” mentality are helpful to you today. If you want more inspiration, resources, and everyday practices you can do to cultivate more presence, self-awareness, and authentic confidence, make sure to check out my Lean Out Confidence Course. (Use coupon code CONFIDENT available for $100 off)!

Do you fall into the trap of “what’s next” thinking? How do you deal with it? Share your experience by leaving a comment below!