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November Gratitude: Thankful For The Mundane Moments

November 12, 2018 // by PracticeBalance// 2 Comments

It was a typical Thursday at work. My cases finished quite early, and after a leisurely lunch (an unusual occurrence in my line of work) chatting with colleagues in the lounge, I was asked to give a couple more brief anesthetics in the cardiac clinic. Usually doing “safari anesthesia” for those types of sedation cases constitutes an eye roll, but it was only noon. All in all, it turned out to be a pleasant workday, and I got to leave relatively early. I took some time on my own for self-care (a rare treat on a workday) by getting a pedicure before picking up my daughter at preschool, and then we all had a nice dinner at home.

Nothing about this day was remarkable for me; in fact, it was particularly chill. Only for someone I work with, it turned out to be their worst day ever. Collapse in the OR, colleagues rushed in. Emergent intubation, hours in surgery. A devastating diagnosis followed by tenuous life vs. death days spent in the ICU. This person is slowly recovering as I write, but everything from now on will be different. Without divulging too many details, they are facing a very significant disability.

When I found out about what had happened, my first inclination was to feel guilty. How could I have had such a nice afternoon in parallel with the unthinkable happening to someone I know, someone I deeply respect and care about? It’s still haunting me, and I wrote my feelings about it in an emotional Mothers In Medicine post (if you missed it, you can read it here). From a broader perspective, this kind of thing happens all the time: a birth occurs simultaneously with a death, someone becomes the victim of a crime as another person is experiencing pure joy. Many of us remember what lame thing we were doing when the twin towers toppled on September 11, 2001 and thousands of people suffered (I was on an elliptical trainer at the gym). But it doesn’t exactly hit home until you know about an instance like the one I describe above. Something horrible happens to someone you know, yet you are off living your everyday life: concurrent yet VASTLY different experiences.

You can fight it, live in fear of bad things happening to you or a loved one (shoe-drop thinking), continue to struggle with comparisons and perfectionism, or you can accept this reality of life and what it teaches us: to be thankful for every mundane moment. I’m choosing the latter. Whether I’m doing everyday things that are pleasurable or chore-like, I’m choosing to notice a bit of gratitude. For every little smile my daughter flashes, every time she faces me and raises her hands, pinching the sky for me to pick her up. I hoist that 45 lb body gingerly in the air because, yes, she’s huge at just shy of three years old and I have a bad back… but I am capable of lifting her and she wants me to lift her (surely this won’t go on much longer). For every time I have to walk the dog in the cold… I’m walking. It’s cold, but I live in a beautiful place with four seasons. And after this, I can go warm myself in my own house that I own outright – an unusual and awesome thing.

I call this mindset #IGetTo (something I also wrote about earlier at Mothers in Medicine): I get to do mundane things every day! Try reframing your boring or tedious life activities like this – next time you’re stuck in traffic this busy holiday season, the sun decides to hide and it snows on you, or you have to stay late at work to finish that project before the deadline. You don’t have to deal with these things, you get to. And others might not be so lucky.

What everyday thing are you thankful about this season?

Decidedly Non-Minimalist But Purposeful Packing

October 22, 2018 // by PracticeBalance// 2 Comments

*Packing more stuff can actually free you up to do the things you want to do on a trip*

I’ve been trying to incorporate ideas of minimalism into my life for a while now. My closet is smaller, I remove one chotchke from the hallway shelves every time I pass, I only buy books on rare occasions… But I draw the line at traveling with only a carry-on bag. Many friends boast (or even blog) about their minimalist packing strategies (especially those who travel for work), but despite my own dabblings in minimalism, I prefer to pack heavy. While we tend to love slow travel and ideal vacations in my family, I’ve recently gone on a couple of shorter trips (duration around one week) where packing heavy works just as well.

Maybe it’s the rock climber in me that doesn’t mind this, as I spent years taking month-long trips across the world schlepping pounds of ropes and heavy gear. Nowadays, it’s about realizing what I value most and bringing some of the comforts of home with me to minimize the stress and immune system load of travel. Some uncomfortable moments when transitioning from the airport or car is worth having some of the things I love about home. I’d argue that even if the airline is charging fees for checked bags, the outlay of, say, $20-40 is worth it to have certain things with you at your destination. Just don’t exceed 50 lbs per bag, or you’ll end up paying a high premium for oversize baggage!

Bring lots of snacks… and good coffee

It’s no secret that I like good coffee , so one of my hacks is to bring my own coffee setup. One particular holiday, three generations of my family stayed at a nice Las Vegas resort. There was one Starbucks in the entire lavish tower, located just adjacent to the casino. Standing in line for 30 minutes to pay more than $3 for over-roasted coffee in the smoke- and slot-filled lobby made me say, “Never again.”. And I refuse to make instant coffee in a plastic machine with water from the hotel sink. My coffee setup includes a small plug-in water boiler and an Aeropress coffee maker. Also, I pack a small water filter like this so that I can easily filter out at least the nasty taste that comes with most city water. Sometimes I bring the actual coffee and sometimes I buy it there, but it must be ground (unfortunately).

Because I value eating healthy food and don’t want to just eat any old junk food from a convenience store or restaurant, I always pack a big bag of snacks. This includes Quest bars (IMO the best low carb protein bar hands down), Chomps beef sticks, packets of olives, sleeves of salmon, good quality nuts, dark chocolate, etc. I also usually pack protein powder (you can get packets like these, but I make my own baggies out of True Nutrition plain protein powder mixed with powdered collagen, cocoa, and stevia). I just mix these with water or almond milk and have a built-in starter breakfast for the day.

Utilize the nearby grocery stores

Speaking of food, we have a standard practice of only eating out for dinner (if that) on trips like these. However, a non-negotiable thing I need in a hotel room is a mini fridge. Luckily, nowadays they’re very common in most hotels (and can be added to a room upon request). Then, on top of bringing the snacks I mentioned above, I’ll go to a nearby store and stock up on some fresh food items. As a side note, going to a local supermarket in a different city gives you a little glimpse into that local flavor you frequently miss on these shorter trips vs. a slow travel situation. Good things to buy include a few pieces of fresh fruit, some sort of milk, flavored soda water or other drinks, yogurt, deli meats, cheeses, and avocadoes. If you can find hard-boiled eggs, they work really well for breakfasts or lunches, too. Specialty-type grocery stores like Trader Joe’s also carry quite a few options for pre-prepared (but relatively healthy) food options. One of my favorite things to buy there when I’m traveling is pre-cooked chicken breasts.

With services like Uber and Lyft, it’s usually very easy to get to a grocery store even if you haven’t rented a car. If you’re traveling with kids, having these types of food available for breakfast and lunch can really help mitigate meltdowns as well. And it leaves you with more time to explore/do the things you traveled to do vs. going to a restaurant. Yes, it’s hard to mobilize children for a trek to the store, but you can always divide and conquer if you’re with a spouse or partner. With this strategy, you’ll eat healthier overall and spend less money during your trip while freeing up even more time to explore. Enjoy some dinners out at a few restaurants unique to the area!

Don’t skimp on clothes, but make them multi-purpose

For a trip of this length, I typically pack enough clothing to not have to do laundry. Who wants to spend half a day at the laundromat or in the hotel basement when you could be enjoying yourself or learning something new? Doing this, however, requires bringing more clothing. Depending on where you’re going (and what the weather’s like),you can probably re-wear some of your clothes during the week. For my recent conference (which was not formal), I brought enough tops for each day, alternated between two pairs of jeans, and threw a skirt into the mix. I also had one outfit I could wear to work out and a pair of shoes I could easily do exercise in. For kids, all bets are unfortunately off, but at least their clothes are smaller and could conceivably be washed/hung to dry in a hotel bathroom! I always pack a small amount of multi-purpose soap that can be used for this as well.

Clothing is, however, the one area that I’ve found I consistently overpack. I bring too much because I don’t know what I’ll be in the mood to wear, and I need to work on this more! A few observations I’ve noticed recently:

Strike a balance between casual and fancy, and you’ll most likely be able to wear it anywhere you have to go.
Wear dark colors so that everything goes with everything else and it doesn’t look as dirty if you need to re-wear it.
Rubber shoes are AWESOME. I love Havaianas sandals and Crocs ballet slippers. Both can be dressed up or down, are super comfortable and washable.

After I became a mom and we downsized our living space, I got rid of a lot of superfluous clothing. The more I proceed along this path, the more I refine my style and find clothing that works for me in many ways.

Other packing tips

With my method of mini-fridge eating, I always make sure to bring some picnic type utensils (I like these bamboo ones but there are other “camping-style” utensils), a bag of bags or something like Bee’s wrap for leftovers, and some sort of large bag (cloth or garbage-size plastic) for dirty laundry. For fitting all your stuff in your bags, I recommend packing cubes (something like these). I never had these before, but after having a kid, I find that they really help to organize and compress items when packing in large suitcases.

If you have a young child like I do, I recommend getting a car seat bag and throwing a packing cube or two (if necessary) onto the car seat. These bags are not as secure as a normal suitcase (usually they have a drawstring closure and are kind of floppy around the car seat), so I’ve found them most useful to hold an additional cube of diapers, clothing, stuffed animals/kid toys, or something similarly light.

To make your stay in a hotel room more comfortable, try to minimize the amount of crap you leave strewn about the floor. Just like at home, I find that less visible clutter makes for a more soothing experience when you’re in the room. Take out your packing cubes and place them in the drawers or on the shelves/benches, and stow the large pieces of luggage away in the closet. Bring a sleep mask for the night-time to make sure it’s nice and dark during your slumber. If you tolerate them, wear earplugs so you don’t hear guests walking and talking in the hallways or city noise. I also have a satin pillow case I can slip over the hotel case so that my hair gets a bit less ruffled up at night. That may seem a bit “princess” to you, but anything that will make you more comfortable/sleep better in unfamiliar conditions will help make your trip less stressful and more enjoyable!

What about you? What do you bring when you travel for a few days to a week? Do you pack light or heavy? Do you look forward to or dread staying in hotel rooms?

*this post contains affiliate links*

Why a $700 Coffee Machine Is Still Aligned With Frugality and Minimalism

August 17, 2018 // by PracticeBalance// 4 Comments

*(The true coffee count from this machine was much higher, as this is an old pic)*

After 11 years of almost daily service, she finally bit the dust. I was in mourning. We bought her during my busy intern year, and at the time, the purchase seemed extravagant. Fully automatic espresso machines can go for thousands, and after sampling the mahogany colored nectar from many of the high-end offerings, we decided to go with a Saeco sold at Costco for $700. With a Costco warranty, what’s the harm?

Given that I had to be at 6:30 AM hospital rounds, there was no time to stop anywhere and no motivation for making coffee the “slow way” at that hour. But with the touch of one button, she would deliver a heavenly coffee with a thin layer of beige crema on top. We experimented over the years to find the perfect coffee bean to produce the perfect brew. It got to the point where we would discuss, while lying in bed preparing for sleep, how we looked forward to tomorrow’s coffee. And when we would go on afternoon “coffee dates” (the frugal alternative to a dinner date), we would lament how the coffees didn’t hold a candle to the offerings of our machine.

A fully automatic espresso machine seems like a ridiculous purchase coming from someone who talks about simple living and financial responsibility. But that’s where the idea of value-ism comes in: I value the quality and taste of my coffee far more than I value many other things (like a restaurant meal or a good beer). Although some people may identify as frugal while others as extravagant, we are all truly value-ists. We will, either consciously or subconsciously, spend more money (and time and resources) on things that we inherently value. However, to be a value-ist and at the same time financially responsible, one must also identify and balance spending by de-prioritizing some things.

That $700 initial outlay more than paid for itself over the years that we owned our machine. Not only had we gained almost daily enjoyment from using the machine, but both sets of our parents were converted to the “machine side”. Even my father, who would spend hundreds of dollars on good wine but drink Folgers made with tap water, has been won over.

Once she was gone, we set out to explore alternatives for her replacement. They don’t make her exact model anymore, unfortunately, but we recently settled on a similarly-priced DeLonghi sold at Costco. So far, the coffee seems to be excellent. What about you? How do you use value-ism in your life?

NOTE: The originally published post was lost in my recent blog migration, so I am going to paste the comments that were made there into this area:

Enjoying Simple Pleasures… Again

July 10, 2018 // by PracticeBalance// Leave a Comment

It’s berry season, and I ‘m reminded of a post I wrote back in the fall of 2014. I was struggling to feel “myself” and remember gratitude as I dealt with infertility. It is a favorite piece of mine that didn’t get a lot of reads, so I’m resharing it today. The idea of noticing simple pleasures for deeper happiness still holds true for me; just the other day I was on a hike, and we came across some wild berries. My eyes popped open and mood changed from fatigued to giddy!

Often, my simple pleasures now involve my daughter. In fact, she and I have ventured outside to survey the berry crop frequently during these long summer days. She’s obsessed with berries (wonder where she gets that…) Sadly, we moved from the home with the multiple raspberry bushes I discuss in this post, but we planted some blackberries at our new place that are slowly producing now.

Without further ado, here is the post:

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We have a couple of raspberry bushes in our yard, and our neighbor has a tall one that hangs a bit over our side of the fence. While none of these could be considered copious producers, each bush steadily makes daily raspberries – a few at a time – from mid summer to early fall. At this point in September, their bounty is fleeting… which made me think about how much pleasure I get from the unassuming plants each year.

Every day, I wander past the bushes. Oh look! A few more berries! Sometimes they are dark and perfectly soft. Sometimes the white buds are just starting to turn pink, and they are too hard for picking. No matter; they’ll be ready for me to eat them soon. A few berries might be shriveled and drying because I didn’t notice them soon enough (always a sad sight). I might glimpse, for the first time, a little droopy, leaf-covered clump holding a cluster of perfect, yet-to-be-picked berries. How did I not notice them until now?

It is rare to collect more than a small handful in a day. Depending on my mood (and hunger level), I might just pop them all into my mouth at once and savor the juicy burst of flavor. If there are only a few, I may eat them individually in succession, experiencing their distinct berry-ness one by one. In the case of a nice handful, I will carefully take them inside, balancing delicately in my hand, to eat with some yogurt or pudding later.

In the midst of our complex lives with daily conflicts to resolve, work duties, roles as doctors (or patients), as spouses and parents and caregivers and friends, it is a treat to find so much pleasure in something so simple. The equivalent of less than a dollar’s worth of raspberries that are home-grown and fresh, perfectly tasting and yet with slightly different characteristics each time, gives me immense happiness. Which is something I need lately in the midst of life’s challenges. I’ll be looking forward to their arrival next year!

This recent Huffington Post piece talks about the often forgotten act of noticing and points out some things in our lives that deserve to be noticed. One of them is “simple pleasures”. What’s your simple pleasure? Share it here!