There Are Three S’s in Balance

You think you know how to spell balance.

Maybe you think you know how to achieve balance.

But do you know about the three S’s in balance?

I first wrote about these concepts as a fledgling blogger and new attending physician in 2012. Back then, my execution was a bit rough around the edges, and a big player in my current orchestra of balance was missing: my role as a mom. So how have my ideas changed? Not that much, actually.

Self-Knowledge

In all these years of practicing my own balance, I’ve come to recognize that we all have vastly different needs. This is a good thing, but it requires awareness: What motivates you? How do you deal with stress, and what methods of stress reduction work best? What kinds of things do you enjoy doing in your free time, and how can those things still be included in your daily life when you’re super-busy? This first S is one I talk about extensively in my speaking and coaching.

If you haven’t thought about questions like these, you’re due for some self-inquiry work. This is a vast topic and my favorite thing to teach, but a good way to start is by journaling. If you need a little structure and inspiration, check out my downloadable 11 Questions guided worksheet. There are lots of apps to facilitate journaling on the go if you don’t prefer pen-to-paper writing. Check out this NYTimes article discussing a few, or this one on appadvice.com regarding Ipad apps.

Self-Care

Based on what you learn about yourself, you can use that knowledge to figure out the second S. Certain self-care techniques will resonate better with you than others. Are you an introvert? Then optimal self-care for you will involve alone time vs. someone who substantially draws energy from being around others. Have you always loved music or literature? If so, your best self-care will employ these elements.

Self-care doesn’t have to take a lot of time or resources. It can be as simple as spending a few minutes in the garden because you love flowers. Or doing some deep breathing exercises in the car. And keeping the healthcare appointment you want to cancel because you’re soooo busy. This is an important part of balance if you want to avoid becoming a patient (like me)! Remember, ignoring self-care means that you will be a less effective ________ (insert: student, resident, wife, husband, mother, father, provider, person).

Simplicity

It’s funny because when I wrote the original version of this post, the section for the third S consisted merely of platitudes about delegating, etc. Even though I knew it was a core tenet to balance, I don’t think I really understood the power of simplicity until I became a mom. As a new parent, the sudden feelings of overwhelm prompted me to simplify so many things – from my closet, to what I ate for dinner, to where I shopped, to how I worked.

So I stopped accumulating outfits and jewelry for a lifestyle I didn’t have.

I stopped shopping for sport.

I chose to prep only a plain meat and one vegetable for dinner each night.

And when the time was right, I cut back at work even further.

Every moment deliberating on what to wear or checking if I had the right ingredients for a recipe not only took time away from what I truly cared about, it drained me emotionally. From the classic work The Paradox of Choice, we know that maximizing and constantly upgrading do not translate to increased happiness.

Balance is a Constant Practice

More than anything, what I’ve learned over the last eight years writing about these three S’s is that they build upon each other. Self-knowledge is the first, foundational step in developing proper self-care. And once you’re in tune with your deeply held values and the individual habits that fill your cup, you can work on the simplicity aspect – by stripping away things in your life that are not in line with those first two S’s.

How are you doing on your three S’s? I challenge you today to think of one thing you are either doing or can do that corresponds to each of these S’s. Post your inspiration below!