The Essentials to Feel Happy, Healthy, and Fulfilled

 (Scroll down to listen to this as an episode of the Lean Out Podcast)

I decided to say yes to a locum tenens anesthesia position in Michigan this spring in addition to my regular per diem work in Las Vegas. As you can imagine, getting to Michigan from rural Southern Utah is not a simple task. Originally, I was worried about the different types of patients, the caseload, acuity level, etc. But now that I’ve completed a couple different weeks at the facility, I realize the work itself is fine. The issue I’ve been having with the job is actually the travel.

The older I get, the harder I find longer distance travel. The commute itself is draining, and the two-hour time difference messes with my body in a way that I don’t remember when I was younger. I’m finding that it’s getting harder for me to recover after a work trip like this; hence, the podcast is out a little bit later than I anticipated this week.

Something happened on this most recent assignment that prompted me to speak on The Essentials. I was staying at a hotel in a historic downtown building near the hospital site, and at 2:30 in the morning, the fire alarm went off.

“Fire. Fire. Proceed to the nearest exit via the stairs. Do not take the elevator.”

It repeated over and over again in between a siren sounding. I’m thinking, “Is this real, or not?” So I decide to call the operator and say, “Hey, the fire alarm is going off on our floor,” to which the person on the other end of the line nervously stated, “Please just proceed down the stairs immediately.” At that point, I start to hear fire trucks coming from a distance.

“Okay, maybe it’s a real fire, maybe it’s not a real fire,” I thought. I assumed the whole building wasn’t going to collapse and grabbed a few “essentials”. These were: my jacket (as it was 40 degrees), a real pair of shoes in case I need to walk somewhere, my reading glasses, my phone, my wallet, and my rental car keys – just in case we get stuck out there for a while and I need to get food, go to the bathroom, or God forbid go to work straight from the evacuation.

I proceeded down the stairs and outside to the sidewalk, where I saw everyone else that’s staying in the hotel. It was really interesting to witness what other people had decided were essentials for them. I really saw the gamut of personality styles. There were people that were fully dressed, had their suitcases, had their laptops, like they’re ready to leave. Other people were barefoot, had no jacket – like half dressed. It’s just so funny thinking about what might have been going through different people’s heads when they were experiencing this alarm just like I did.

The reality was the alarm had gone off in another portion of the old building due to someone’s small apartment fire or something of that nature, which triggered the hotel’s alarms as well. Luckily, after about a half an hour of inspection by the fire department, we were let back into the hotel, and I was able to go to sleep for the rest of the night.

This experience – and the whole locum tenens assignment for that matter – got me thinking about the essentials.

What are your essentials? And I don’t mean what you’re grabbing if you have to leave a burning building. The essentials I’m referring to are the kind of essentials needed on a regular basis to feel happy, healthy, and fulfilled. What really matters to you?

In his book Essentialism, author Greg McKeown talks about the paradox of success, which is kind of like the treadmill of achievement in that when you are successful, it brings more opportunities, more money, more resources, and more things. The problem is, then you end up taking on MORE. Just like when we achieve, the reward is more work, and it’s very difficult to say no to this. What ends up happening is that people live in a very distracted state and they’re not able to recognize the essentials that are really necessary for them to thrive. Eventually, you get lost in your own busyness.

I see this as an issue of aligning your core values and your goals with how you’re spending your time. I saw the people out at the fire drill, for example: maybe the person who brought their suitcase, their laptop, their everything, prioritizes promptness. They were thinking, “Maybe if I’m stuck out here for the next few hours, I am going to be late for my job, and that is unacceptable to me.” Regarding the person who was half naked and didn’t have their jacket or shoes on: maybe the thing they value and prioritize is spontaneity. Maybe it’s connection. Maybe it’s something totally unrelated to preparedness or promptness.

My Essentials

I’m realizing more and more what my essentials are for being happy, healthy, and fulfilled. And the older I get, the more focused on them I become. Here are my essentials:

Variety. This shows up in how I work and the different identities I assume every day. Sometimes I’m an anesthesiologist. Sometimes I’m a retiree, and I’m playing pickleball with sixty and seventy-year-olds. Sometimes I’m a coach helping someone through a work transition or honing their work-life balance. Sometimes I’m a teacher because I do homeschooling… and I’m always a mom. I mean, of course, I am all of these things all of the time, but my days ebb and flow with one or two of these roles really being at the forefront, and I like how the roles undulate and shift as the weeks and the months go on. This is something I really enjoy, or else I wouldn’t have chosen anesthesiology as my profession; we see a lot of variety. We take care of patients of all different ages, having all different kinds of surgeries, different levels of health, different states of disease, etc., and I really enjoy that.

Learning. I really like to have learning and challenge built into my days. If I’m not at work, which has automatic learning and challenge, then I am listening to podcasts or reading articles, listening to audiobooks, etc. I really don’t watch a lot of television shows and series but instead choose to watch YouTube videos about homesteading, health, strength training, and personal development.

Movement/physical activity. Another thing that is an essential for me is movement and activity every single day. If it’s not strength training or doing a sport like pickleball, it’s walking and hiking and doing outdoor chores on the homestead. I have a goal of taking 10,000 steps per day, which I tend to meet about 90% of the time. If I have to do long periods of computer work, I tend to take five-minute movement breaks, and this is something that I just have automatically started to do in my life. Even if I’m in the operating room doing anesthesia for a really long case, I’ll get up maybe every 45-60 minutes and move around, even though it’s just in a small space like the OR.

Alone time. I need to have a little bit of downtime where I’m quiet each day by myself. If I am, say, speaking at a conference or I’m doing anesthesia at the hospital, I need to have the time afterwards, after the events and after all of the time being “on” and talking to patients or potential clients or to an audience, I have to have quiet time for myself.

Outside time. I really love being outside, and even if it’s just for a few minutes, even if it’s cold, I do step outside and spend a little time outside daily. If I’m doing a long 10-12 hour day of anesthesia, I even will walk out when I’m taking a lunch break. I’ll just take a route back to the operating room that involves stepping outside of a door and walking maybe around the front section of the hospital.

How to Figure Out Your Essentials

How can you figure out your essentials and prioritize them in your life? Again, these are not the things you would take from a burning building, but rather the things you need on a daily and at least a weekly basis to feel happy, healthy, and fulfilled. They’re the things that make your work-life balance feel, well, balanced and optimal.

We can think about a few different categories of essentials. The first one would be physical – things like adequate sleep, movement, and good nutrition. Maybe you are very keen on making your own food and having very fresh food. Which one of these is a really big lever for you? The next category would be mental – solitude or quiet time, being able to do something creative, or learning new things. Another category is social – having quality connections each day with family members or friends. And lastly, there is spiritual – Do you sense that you’re progressing towards something that matters to you? Does your life have meaning? Do you have a spiritual practice or ritual?

Spend Time Alone in Reflection

To try to get the juices flowing for inspiration on what your essentials are, I highly recommend (as I often do) that you spend some time alone in reflection. Just doing nothing, basically. Some reflections might be: “If I have a day where X doesn’t get done, I don’t feel like I won the day.” That’s a good indication that X is an essential for you. You can ask yourself, “What are the anchors that I have each day?” – a morning routine or an evening routine or something that really helps you to feel like that the day has progressed with intention. You could also ask yourself, “What do I really regret not getting done in a particular day?”

Take a Bare-Bones Trip

You could also learn your essentials by going on a trip and taking very little of your own possessions. It doesn’t have to be a camping trip, though that is a good way to do this because you’re going to be without all of the gadgets in the kitchen and all of the ingredients and maybe your special coffee maker (that’s what I miss often on trips)! When you survive with very little of your regular possessions and then you go home, it gives you a reflective moment of, “What are the things that I really missed when I was gone?”

Learn Your Core Values

I know I talk about this a lot, but your values are the signposts for how you figure out what the essential things are for you each day. Search for a list of values online, or do my values exercise at the link here.

You can build daily habits around these in order to make sure that they get met each day. For example, if movement is one of your essentials and you don’t feel like you’re actually getting it during your workdays, you can set an alarm for movement breaks on your phone. If one of your essentials is having solitude or alone time, you can put a chunk in your calendar just like you would a meeting that is specifically made for alone time. Remember that you get to choose what you focus on every day, and if there are too many things going on, going back to the essentials is where you can start to streamline and feel more balanced again.

Back to the trip that inspired me to write and talk about this topic: I’ve realized that traveling is actually not a part of my essentials lists. It might upset the adventurous, the FIRE starters, the points and miles gurus, and anyone who really needs to prioritize their vacations in their lives (no shame for that BTW)… but travel just doesn’t light me up like it used to. All the lines and the delays and the red tape and buying seats on the airplane and buying space for your bag in the airplane… It just drains me. I used to do a ton of travel with my husband. We rock climbed all over the world, but as I’ve gotten older, I just don’t love the long distance travel anymore.

Because of choosing to live where I live, I have to travel to work as an anesthesiologist. And as of this spring, I’ve decided that I’m not going to say yes to these far away jobs anymore. If it’s not within a couple hours of me, it’s a no. It’s just not an essential.

Need More Help?

Let’s say you figured out what your essentials are. Are you prioritizing those essentials, or do you feel like that there are too many distractions, too many things, too many roles in your life, and your essentials happen to be going by the wayside?Coaching can help. I have a couple of spots right now in my schedule for new coaching clients. So if this is something you’d like to work on, you can sign up for a free consultation phone call with me.

Tell me: What are your essentials? Share them by leaving a comment below!